Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Chilled Night

The Chilled Night
My mind is blank of thoughts, but one.  I am walking to my house, the air is heavy, the lights only dimly light the street.  The thought that remained in my mind was that piercing eye.  It was horrible.  I saw it on the face of an old man in the market.  His eye was a glimpse into hell, a fiery window into the bowels of the earth.
The man’s expression was empty and concise.  He had nothing to hide in the rest of his mind, but that eye pointed in the other direction.  He was hiding a secret is all anyone would say, once they made eye contact.    You could not take your gaze off the hideous organism lodged in his head.  It was a torturous gaze for your mind.  The ache of my head was excruciating after that gaze that lasted seconds, but what felt like a lifetime. 
My thoughts began to scramble together, my pace quickened , fresh beads of cold sweat formed on my brow.  I felt as if that despicable eye, the devil’s tool, was watching me from behind.
The day had been long at work.   I was clad in a dark cloak.  I held it close to my chest.  I felt the thought of the eye continuing to haunt me, causing abrasion to my mind.  I was electrified with fear  as strange noises filled the night.  My endeavours to stay calm and sane began to fail.  I broke into a run towards my house, going quickly up the street.  My heart was beating loudly behind my ribs as if it wanted to burst out of its bony cage.  I began to run out  of breath.  I felt dehydration coming to me.
In a cursory manner, I thrust my hand towards the door quickly turning the key in the lock and entered my house slamming the door.  This brought some relief to me.  I went to my chamber and put on my night shirt.  I went into my bed and tried to convince myself this was a mere nightmare, a simulation from my head.  Alas, it was no dream.  I sat not moving, just gingerly listening to the chilled whistling of the wind outside and the tapping of the branches against the window.  
Over the noise from outside, I heard it, a gruesome spine chilling scream.  I think the awful noise had  derived from the building next to mine.  I grimaced at the sound; it was truly one of horror.  I just pulled my sheets up and continued to listen.  I surmised bad, dark things could be happening in the other dwelling, maybe even murder!
I felt the evil eye of the man was open, to make sure everything was there.  With a glance, his eye saw nothing on the inventory in his hand,  was gone from his house.  He kept this next to his bed.  Now I remembered the old man lived next door.  Carefully I  thought and then I decided to warn the police.  I ran outside the door in my night clothing and told the police what had happened and what I said had helped them to corroborate what was going on.  They said someone had come before to warn them.  
Then, I ran back to my house without stopping for breath.  I went back to my chamber.  I climbed into bed as the floors creaked and noises of muffled thuds came through the wall and to my ears.   I felt like I was going to succumb in fear.  Then I thought, if it was murder, the eye, horrible and evil, would be dead.

Eric

5 comments:

  1. Eric the action and description you used was very vivid. I could feel how scared the men felt about the eyes of the old man. I liked how you didn't just use this chapter's words but some of the other chapter. I loved how you ended the story and will like you teach me to do endings like that.

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  2. You are very good with words Eric. One can feel like if they were in the story. Everything was used correctly and I specially liked how you tried to stick to the time it was taken place.

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  3. Amazing Story :)
    Also I love how you have decorated you blog. So creative. Good job

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  4. Good!!! I like the way you used your WW words!!! It's a great story!!!

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  5. Eric,

    I really like your Story. I really felt like i was there, i could picture everything you were saying in my head. You used the words perfectly!
    Great job! (:

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